let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
