The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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