rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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