I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
