Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
