OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
