Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He had one of those small greek statue penises
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
