Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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