I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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