Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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