Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
