she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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