Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
