I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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