Define "chronic" masturbator.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
