hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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