You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
