Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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