There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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