at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
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This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian