sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.