tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
