Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
