I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
