I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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