I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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