I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
