Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
