what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Enjoy the penises
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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