I never want to see another naked old woman again.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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