We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
