Farmville is her only friend.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We're too hungover to prance.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
