He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
