I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize