would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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