Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize