Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
