pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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