Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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