they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.