Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out