dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.