my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I wish there were birth control emojis
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.