he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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