im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
