dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize