So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
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i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
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Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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