some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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