Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My friends, they love my intelligence
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
