Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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