ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize