She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
