White coat. Heels.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
