So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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