Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Let's paint friendship bongs
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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