i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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