Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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