we're blogging at a bar
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize