I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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