I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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